It felt as if her throat was closing as she looked upon the cathedral. Some marveled its beauty and some admired its history. Essi barely kept herself from trembling under its imposing shadow. There was a time when she came here regularly. So much so even the acquaintances that she had made within the city became concerned. She was always reminded one could be too devout. However she never had the heart to tell them why she truly went so often. As the saying goes the church is a hospital for sinners not a museum for saints. Though she really did wonder sometimes.

The redhead tried for weeks to manage her own guilt, shame, and regret with her faith to no avail. It was like reliving her past all over again. There was only one way that she had ever known to overcome such strife. Which led her here passing through the nave and approaching the chancel of the grand building. There she was met by a man of the cloth that she was familiar with.

"Divines bless you child, what brings you here after such a long absence?"

"Divines bless you teacher. I must atone."

"What do you have to atone for now dear one?"

Tears burned at the back of her eyes and she bowed her head. "I have been unable to protect the innocent and my faith is not strong enough to save me."

"Oh you poor thing. Yes let us go and reaffirm your faith so that you may find answers within the Divines."

As the clergyman walked Essi followed dutifully behind as cold sweat dragged along her back. This is what she had come here for, right? Coming to a stop her breath caught in her chest as she was ushered into an all too familiar room. The room was small, it could maybe hold 3-5 people semi-comfortably. It felt grand though due to the dizzying tall ceiling and a single beautifully crafted stained glass window. No matter how beautifully it was crafted Eslia never really considered it beautiful. As it was depicting a somewhat violent scene from the Coldfire War. It made the color drain from her face. Sometimes the image haunted her dreams.

“Please don’t push yourself too hard, dear child.”

Snapping her out of her trance she bowed her head to the clergyman and watched him walk out closing the door behind him. Slowly she went to the center of the room and dropped to her knees. As she clasped her trembling hands she closed her eyes, and prayed.

“Great Judicator, just and right Faelis, please deliver me to punishment for my wrong doings. Mighty and swift Kharn hear my pleas for strength so that I might persist through my deliverance…”

On and on she prayed, her voice almost like a constant hum. This went on for days and she did not move for food, sleep, or rest. Her voice grew hoarse and her body seemed to waste away. Her knees swollen and deeply bruised as tears rained down from her eyes. She could ever so often hear the small creak of the door as the clergy would look in on her. Never saying or offering anything.

It was just like the last time. When she had come to atone for her place within her parent’s cult. For leading those away from the righteous path. Eslia did not know what time or what day it was, but she opened her eyes for the first time. The first thing she saw? The window. The colors were even more vivid since she had not looked at anything for who knows how long. In a trance she stared at the panes depicting history, of a time showing the beginning of her origins. Born of blood and ashe. She began to wail. Would she ever find peace? Would her sins ever be expiated? Collapsing in on herself her body shook violently as her hope sapped away. Along with her hope her strength whittled away and she passed out her last visions of that of the window. Along with haunting hallucinations of the bodies littering the floor like that of the massacre in Bleeding Heart.